Rabu, 29 April 2015

^ PDF Ebook Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children, by Michael Thompson, Cathe O'Neill-Grace, Lawrence J. Cohen, Cath

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Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children, by Michael Thompson, Cathe O'Neill-Grace, Lawrence J. Cohen, Cath

Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children, by Michael Thompson, Cathe O'Neill-Grace, Lawrence J. Cohen, Cath



Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children, by Michael Thompson, Cathe O'Neill-Grace, Lawrence J. Cohen, Cath

PDF Ebook Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children, by Michael Thompson, Cathe O'Neill-Grace, Lawrence J. Cohen, Cath

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Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children, by Michael Thompson, Cathe O'Neill-Grace, Lawrence J. Cohen, Cath

Friends broaden our children’s horizons, share their joys and secrets, and accompany them on their journeys into ever wider worlds. But friends can also gossip and betray, tease and exclude. Children can cause untold suffering, not only for their peers but for parents as well. In this wise and insightful book, psychologist Michael Thompson, Ph.D., and children’s book author Catherine O’Neill Grace, illuminate the crucial and often hidden role that friendship plays in the lives of children from birth through adolescence.

Drawing on fascinating new research as well as their own extensive experience in schools, Thompson and Grace demonstrate that children’s friendships begin early–in infancy–and run exceptionally deep in intensity and loyalty. As children grow, their friendships become more complex and layered but also more emotionally fraught, marked by both extraordinary intimacy and bewildering cruelty. As parents, we watch, and often live through vicariously, the tumult that our children experience as they encounter the “cool” crowd, shifting alliances, bullies, and disloyal best friends.

Best Friends, Worst Enemies brings to life the drama of childhood relationships, guiding parents to a deeper understanding of the motives and meanings of social behavior. Here you will find penetrating discussions of the difference between friendship and popularity, how boys and girls deal in unique ways with intimacy and commitment, whether all kids need a best friend, why cliques form and what you can do about them.

Filled with anecdotes that ring amazingly true to life, Best Friends, Worst Enemies probes the magic and the heartbreak that all children experience with their friends. Parents, teachers, counselors–indeed anyone who cares about children–will find this an eye-opening and wonderfully affirming book.


From the Hardcover edition.

  • Sales Rank: #82603 in Books
  • Brand: Thompson, Michael/ Grace, Catherine O'Neill/ Cohen, Lawrence J., Ph.D.
  • Published on: 2002-07-30
  • Released on: 2002-07-30
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 8.20" h x .70" w x 5.70" l, .57 pounds
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 320 pages

From Publishers Weekly
Not since Dr. Spock or Penelope Leach has there been such a sensitive and practical guide to raising healthy children and this one doesn't end at potty training. Child therapists Thompson (coauthor of bestseller Raising Cain) and Cohen (Playful Parenting) have teamed up with Washington Post columnist and children's writer Grace (all three are parents) to describe the social lives of kids and the appropriate roles of parents, teachers and school administrators. They explore the stages of children's development, from parent-bonded to quasi-asocial toddler, the learning-the-rules phase in elementary school and adolescent and romantic bonding. Each phase may bring some negative experiences including some outright cruelty that can be hard on both parents and children, but sometimes necessary for learning about the world. They advise parents to think of themselves as "lifeguards" at the pool, aware of what's going on with their kids, but only intervening in the rare crisis. The book wraps up on a practical note, with chapters on how schools can be proactive and how parents can be most useful. Their advice? Don't worry so much, set a good example, keep perspective and relax most kids turn out okay. Thompson and Grace's breezy "we've all been there" anecdotal style will bring great comfort to any parents who're worried about their kid's social life in other words, any parent. (Sept.)Forecast: The planned 12-city author tour and print advertising in the New York Times and USA Today will yield big sales, supported by the strength of Thompson's name and Grace's media connections.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal
Bullying has become an area of concern in the media and society. This book discusses that topic but weaves it into a broader study of children's friendships. Thompson, a clinical psychologist and coauthor of Raising Cain; Grace, an author of children's books and a former columnist for the Washington Post; and psychologist Cohen (Playful Parenting) present a developmental perspective as they describe how children's social lives develop from toddlerhood to adolescence. Research and analysis are interspersed with personal anecdotes and vignettes in an engaging style. The book concludes with advice to teachers and parents on how to improve social life in schools and support children's friendships. This is not a formulaic, how-to book. As the authors themselves acknowledge, the best way to learn about friendship is to practice it. However, it does provide useful perspective on a critical aspect of adolescent development, which tends to be overlooked until schoolyard feuds erupt into violent confrontations. The book may also be reassuring to parents since it outlines information on current dating styles, acceptable ranges of friendship patterns, and normal gender differences in interpersonal relationships. Recommended for public library parenting collections to complement Charlene C. Giannetti and Margaret Sagarese's more narrowly focused Cliques: 8 Steps To Help Your Child Survive the Social Jungle (LJ 2/1/01). Antoinette Brinkman, M.L.S., Evansville, IN
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist
Why are children so mean to each other? Why is it so important to them to be popular? How can they be so loyal to their friends one moment and so treacherous the next? Thompson, the coauthor of Raising Cain (1999), takes on the subject of children's social lives in this fascinating book that will make parents alternately laugh and cry as they recognize their children and themselves as youngsters. This time, Thompson joins with another psychologist and a children's book author--all parents--to explore the reasons children behave as they do in relationships and offer advice on how parents can help them navigate friendships from childhood through adolescence. The authors present touching, sometimes tragic, anecdotes on everything from the typical childhood cruelties of bullies, teasing, and clique formation to the tight bonds of true friendship to investigate how children form and maintain relationships. They also examine the differences between friendship and popularity and give practical insight to parents on the complex social lives of children. Parents will treasure this book. Vanessa Bush
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Most helpful customer reviews

19 of 21 people found the following review helpful.
If you have children, or work with them, this is for you!
By Rocco B. Rubino
Michael Thompson, Ph.D. is the author of the bestseller "Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys. His latest, written with compassion, humor, and practicality, is an insightful look into the sometimes mysterious world of child development.
As a special education teacher, and soon to be school counselor, I have long held that those who have children, and work with children need a keener understanding on why children do the things they do, if we are to care for them, and serve them better. This book will go along way in fostering this understanding among parents, teachers, and practioners because it helps us understand how a child views her world.
Written in conjuction with journalist Catherine O'Neill Grace and Lawrence Cohen, Ph.D. "Best Friends, Worst Enemies..." provides such a keen insight into the social lives of children, it is almost as if it was written by a child, because they have such an excellent perspective.

27 of 30 people found the following review helpful.
Shows how parents can understand and help children socially
By Kcorn
After watching a feature documentary on the power of social relationships to shape a child's life into adulthood, I was already interested in learning more. This book filled the bill, especially the sections which revealed how children use power (and even bullying) to both include some children and exclude others. I think most of us remember the playground bullies but what this book did was show how parents can help to change bullying behavior, give their children skills to handle bullies and lessen the damaging effects of their behavior.
This book focuses on far more than bullies and those who purchase it will find it filled with rich insights into the social world of children and how they view their friendships and connections with other children.

34 of 37 people found the following review helpful.
Disappointing
By Seattle reader
This book could have used an editor, or a better one. I found it much too wordy: he says in 4 paragraphs what was already clear in the first paragraph. I felt that he was explaining issues to about a 6th grade level person.

I was less interested in the theory in the abstract and would have appreciated more suggestions for parental action (or inaction) in each chapter. Instead, the "What parents can do" chapter was stuck onto the end of the book like an afterthought, and read like an article in O..."10 things you can do". The one part of the book that was brief, and it was the part I had hoped to be in-depth.

Finally, I thought the author put a lot of weight on the parents' impact on a child's personality. Obviously there is a huge influence, but there was little mention of temperament. It was just: "Johnny's quiet, and when you meet his Dad, he's quiet, too." And some examples were more accusatory: the mother is not socially skilled, so no wonder the child isn't. There are lots of kids struggling who are just that way. I don't care if he blames me as a mother, but why I think this misses the boat is that it portrays only the weak side of the child's personality and poses it as a problem...no mention that this can be the way the child is wired and that there are associated strengths. I think that knowledge affects a parent's ability to accept a child who is "different" and support him/her in their strengths and help them offset their weaknesses to minimize the negative impact of the weakness on their life.

I was looking forward to reading this book, and found it very disappointing.

See all 31 customer reviews...

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