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## PDF Download Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need, by Dave Barry

PDF Download Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need, by Dave Barry

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Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need, by Dave Barry

Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need, by Dave Barry



Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need, by Dave Barry

PDF Download Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need, by Dave Barry

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Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need, by Dave Barry

TAKE YOUR TRAVEL TIPS FROM DAVE BARRY,
A GUY WHO IS REALLY GONE!

Complete with maps, histories, quaint local facts (France's National Underwear Changing Day is March 12), song lyrics, helpful hints on how to get through Customs (all insects must be spayed), and tidbits from Dave Barry's own fond vacation nightmares, DAVE BARRY'S ONLY TRAVEL GUIDE YOU'LL EVER NEED is just that. You'll find everything you need to know in this incredibly comprehensive reference, including:

- Air Travel (Or: Why Birds Never Look Truly Relaxed)
- Traveling as a Family (Or: No, We Are NOT There Yet)
- Traveling in Europe ("Excuse me! Where is the Big Mona Lisa?")
- Camping: Nature's Way of Promoting the Motel Industry

  • Sales Rank: #404257 in Books
  • Published on: 1999-03-01
  • Released on: 1999-03-01
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 6.90" h x .50" w x 4.30" l, .19 pounds
  • Binding: Mass Market Paperback
  • 192 pages

Amazon.com Review
Dave describes the dark side of tourism with such comical precision that you'll wonder why you ever bother to leave the safety of your living room. For my money, nobody has ever produced a better snapshot of the Baggage Carousel, "where passengers traditionally gather at the end of a flight to spend several relaxing hours watching the arrival of luggage from some other flight, which comes randomly spurting out of a mysterious troll-infested tunnel that is apparently connected to another airport, possibly in a different dimension."

From Publishers Weekly
A distinctly minor effort by the Miami Herald columnist and author of such previous successes as Dave Barry's Greatest Hits , this guide works too hard for comic effect. There are strained references to inedible airline food, a "Five Booger" ranking from the "Michelin Guide to How Snotty a Restaurant Is," Chicago as "The City with a Great Big Butt." There are tired gags, one involving the translation of a phrase about "the fish of your brother Raoul" and another about using the same map for downtown Vienna, London and Berlin. But the book is not completely devoid of laughs: "Akron: Meeting Yesterday's Challenges Tomorrow" is cited as a typical article from an airline magazine. There is a clever parody of a highway historical marker; and a discussion of the problem of locating a tree in Oregon that doesn't have an ecologist wrapped around it. The book, however, is hardly sidesplitting.
Copyright 1991 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Kirkus Reviews
Holder of a Pulitzer for funny commentary, Barry (Dave Barry Slept Here, 1989) follows the footsteps of Baedeker and Marco Polo and offers a travel book that is more current and just as useful. In a time-honored and noble tradition of comical assessments of the world away from home, Barry presents a light text, augmented with the customary cheesy charts, footnotes, and diagrams. (Maybe it's just coincidence, but the handy street-maps of Cairo, London, Berlin or Munich [one map], Vienna, Paris, and downtown Ireland all appear alarmingly similar.) There's advice on planning a trip (the author differs from his wife about packing a waffle iron), foreign languages, air travel, family travel (the best time to visit Disney World: 1962), and camping. There's a guide to all fifty states, Canada, and Mexico. Then there are also foreign countries, located in Europe. (See ``How to Use a Bidet.'') ``Most of these countries,'' Barry astutely points out, ``eventually realized the marketing advantage of not being so foreign.'' Little-known foreign fact: ``England manufactures most of the world's airline food.'' Filled with shameless fabrication (we happen to know, because we checked the road atlas we got from the insurance company, that Alaska is not in Canada, for example), but Barry's lies, like all good comedy, are emblematic of some kind of truth or other. Besides, ``you can trust us,'' he says. ``We're a guidebook.'' The title is accurate. Get this travel guide and you'll never want another. Funny stuff. -- Copyright ©1991, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.

Most helpful customer reviews

23 of 24 people found the following review helpful.
You'll never leave home if you read this book
By ealovitt
It's a good thing that Dave Barry's travel guide is untranslatable into any language other than American. Otherwise we might have to go to war with all of those countries that he reported to be shaped like a large ketchup stain, or where he had to shell out 4,000 pfarthings to use the public restroom. Our author does not take such insults lightly. Nor does he expect you to. This guide is filled with such useful phrases as, "Mi (esposo, esposa) es been tramplado por toros," or "Tuo fratello Raoul dormi con los pesces."
Luckily, according to Dave, many foreign people speak our language. "Stick them up!" they'll say. "Please to be handing over your American Express traveler's checks! Don't leave home without them!"
There are lots of useful airline tips in this book, such as how to behave if your airplane is infested by demons, how to fit a lawn tractor into the overhead baggage compartment, and what do about the 475-pound man in the adjacent seat who has forearms the size of Roseanne. For those of you who are afraid of flying, the author very kindly takes time to explain how an airplane flies (I didn't know an airplane wing had ailerons AND halyards).
Dave doesn't just do Europe. He also takes on the fifty states ('Massachusetts is an Indian word meaning "place that is hard to spell"), Canada (which "boasts numerous goose-infested lakes"), and Mexico ("Unit of Currency - The Lambada"). I can't help wondering whether this book had anything to do with the current state of relations between ourselves and our closest neighbors.
Don't let your kids read this book right before a history or geography test, especially not Dave's highlighted "Facts at a Glance" boxes. Even I know that the unit of currency in Greece is not 'The Sheep." It's the 'minimum.'

15 of 16 people found the following review helpful.
This must be Barry's funniest book...
By A Customer
I, like another reviewer below, was also introduced to Dave Barry through this book. It really is impossible to not laugh out loud while reading it. (Just thinking about it is making me laugh right now.) Some of the highlights of the book are Dave's summary of Walt Disney World ("do not fall out of the tram without first coming to a full and complete stop..."), his thoughts about flying and airports ("...in fact, when travelers aren't walking through the detectors, the security personnel use them to cook their lunch..."), and how to correctly fold a suit for packing (first, lay the suit on a flat surface, such as a tennis court...). Well, I guess I don't do justice to him. The innumerable charts and drawings only make you laugh even more. Be sure to read the Facts at a Glance for all the European countries.

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful.
The best humour book ever written
By miguelmaia@ip.pt
I have read this book 14 times in the last 5 years and I still laugh when I read it! I collect comic stuff since I remember existing and this book beats everything. Every time I travel I take it along with me and everyone that reads just a couple of pages is imediatlly laughing out loud. Dave Barry jokes on every conceiveble aspect of traveling and "hits the spot" each and every time. More than 5 sters

See all 90 customer reviews...

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