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Oh God!: A Black Woman's Guide to Sex and Spirituality, by Susan Newman
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Far too many African American women struggle with a deep division between the two fundamental pillars of their identity–spirituality and sexuality. The church tells them that to live “holy and sanctified” lives they must give up sexual activity outside the institution of marriage, and yet their bodies and souls cry out for a way to express and fulfill their natural passions. In this groundbreaking book, the Reverend Dr. Susan Newman, a nationally recognized minister and speaker, finally shows all women of faith how to find a healthy balance between their spiritual selves and their sexual needs.
Dr. Newman opens with a simple but startling premise: You can love God and love sex at the same time. Though it may sound irreverent, this premise is actually the basis for an essential journey to self-knowledge and reconciliation. As Dr. Newman shows, this journey has been denied to women for centuries because of church traditions and doctrines going back to the Old Testament and to the teachings of Saint Paul. For African American women, the spiritual-sexual divide was compounded by slavery.
But women of faith do not have to live divided lives. Writing with passion, candor, and welcome humor, Dr. Newman opens new paths to healing and reconciliation. Here are frank, direct discussions about sex both inside and outside marriage; about being honest about your spiritual and erotic needs; about making personal choices; and about acknowledging the holiness of your body.
The goal, as Dr. Newman explains, is not to suppress or channel your sexuality, but to embrace sex as a wonderful gift from God. As a woman of faith–and as a woman–you deserve a healthy, satisfying life, a life open to passion and truly free of guilt and shame. The first book of its kind, Oh God! is a landmark achievement that will be welcomed by black women who want to live in wholeness of spirit and body.
- Sales Rank: #1133269 in Books
- Published on: 2002-03-26
- Released on: 2002-03-26
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.54" h x .84" w x 6.39" l,
- Binding: Hardcover
- 208 pages
From Publishers Weekly
Ordained minister Newman (With Heart and Hand) chose a riveting topic for her second book: her premise is that African-American women often have confused ideas about sex, in large part because the church gives them confusing messages. Unfortunately, the book does not live up to its initial promise. Newman's message is less about ethics (she is curiously opaque, for example, about the propriety of sex outside of marriage) than self-image. Above all, she wants her readers to feel good about themselves, urging women to take up "Project Me," which involves spending time alone and tending to their own needs. This is hardly new advice. One wonders how Newman's suggestions that women take a karate class, learn to embroider or buy themselves flowers will help her audience think more clearly about sex. Part of the book's superficiality stems from Newman's attempt to cover too many subjects, including body image, domestic violence, orgasm in marriage, dancing in church, dating and HIV prevention. Though these are all worthy topics, Newman sacrifices depth for breadth. One of the book's redeeming features is her sensitive biblical exegesis; she portrays Jesus as a "revolutionary feminist" who befriended women, and concludes from her study of the Onan story in Genesis that masturbation (which she calls "self-pleasuring") is not sinful. These interpretations, though certainly not original to Newman, are ably presented. Readers will also appreciate the biblically inspired reflection questions that close each chapter. Scriptural summaries and fill-in-the-blank worksheets, however, are not enough to salvage this disjointed guide.
Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc.
From Library Journal
In this blunt, compassionate, and entertaining book for black women, Newman, an acclaimed minister based in Washington, DC, offers strong and sensible advice on managing one's body and relationships in light of one's spiritual life, happiness, and welfare. Admirably frank, Newman deals with sexual abuse, divorce, HIV, masturbation, and self-worth. Her honesty means a good deal more than the evasions of many other writers who address women's spirituality, and her work deserves a broad readership. Highly recommended.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Review
“It is about time! Finally the discussion of human sexuality in the church is out of the proverbial closet! Susan Newman brings a much-needed discussion of sex and single women of African descent to the table. She is frank and Biblical. She is honest and spiritual. She has a firm grasp of what women are privately thinking and is bold enough to bring the discussion to a public forum. It is a great read for African American women, single and married, and perfect for women’s groups.”
–BISHOP VASHTI MURPHY MCKENZIE
Presiding Prelate, 18th Episcopal District of the
African Methodist Episcopal Church
Botswana, Mozambique, Lesotho, and Swaziland
“A woman cannot be free if her body and her spirit are at war. With this powerful book, Sister Reverend Dr. Susan Newman unlocks the chains of confusion and hands sisters the keys to their own personal liberation and spiritual healing.”
–DR. JOHNNETTA B. COLE
President Emerita, Spelman College
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Not what I Expected
By E. Collins
I just scanned through this book and didn't read it thoroughly. Newman never gave a definitive answer about masturbation (should you engage in it or not; online articles say you shouldn't because it's self-gratification and God doesn't want us to focus on ourselves) and promotes premarital sex (the author mentioned that if a woman is capable of making a decision about something she needs to do at her job, then she's capable of deciding if she wants to have sex with her lover). The author says that Jesus is a liberal feminist because he cared about women but I believe she's saying this to support her argument that women should be able to have sex outside of marriage, etc. Jesus cares about everyone; he doesn't favor women over men. I do agree with Newman that we tend to view sex in a negative way (she mentioned her family's warnings about dancing with boys, etc).
The author ends the book by saying that whatever we decide to do is our choice; she can't tell us what to do. I found this ending disappointing because I wanted a straight answer. When you're a new Christian, you have so many questions and you're trying to make sense of things. This book could lead you in the wrong direction! I've been studying God's word and the info in this book doesn't sit well with me. You can get better answers from the Holy Spirit and also researching articles online.
6 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
A Wonderful and Needed Book for Black Women of Faith
By A Customer
Finally, someone in the church is talking realistically about sex. Dr. Newman contends that our sexuality is a gift from God that should be embraced and celebrated. Each women must decide the path that is right for her -- taking into account respect for self, neighbor and God. Black women of faith have been conflicted for too long. If Oh God! and Dr. Newman can help us find a healthy balance between our sexual and spiritual selves, I say more power to her!
I was shocked by the tone of the two negative reviews, but I am convinced that those people did not actually didn't read the book. They are obviously threatened by Dr. Newman's contention that women of faith should take control of all parts of our lives -- and our decisions, sexual and otherwise, should be between ourselves and God. Obviously there is some hidden agenda at work here because people who bought Oh God! from Amazon.com did not also buy that list of sex books quoted by the so-called "Christian" reader, they actually bought:
It's All Good Hair by Michele N-K Collison
Sittin' in the Front Pew by Parry A. Brown
You Know Better by Tina McElroy Ansa
Satisfy My Soul by Colin Channer
And, those quotes were taken totally out of context.
Oh God! says, read the bible for yourself -- don't just listen to what your pastor says or what your girlfriend says. God gave you a brain, so use it! Do what is best for you, taking into account all of God's commandments. Read this book for yourselves -- you will not be disappointed.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
An invitation to use our minds.
By Cedric A. Harmon
Dr. Susan Newman has taken a bold step in her original work, Oh God! The honesty and frankness with which she writes is refreshing and empowering to women, women of faith and the church community at-large. It is not surprising that some reviewers will take exception to the book at first read, because the work challenges long held silence, traditional comfort zones and prudish mind-sets regarding sexuality. Dr. Peter Gomes encountered similar diatribes on his work, The Good Book Reading The Bible With Mind And Heart. Once again people of faith are being asked to engage the Holy Scriptures with all of their intelligence and to relinquish tacit acceptance of simpleminded traditional understandings.
In concluding my review, I am hopeful that the book will encourage dialogue and discussion not immediate dismissal. To quote Bengel, "Apply yourself closely to the text; apply the text closely to yourself." In this case do so regarding the Holy Bible and Oh God.
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