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Saving Milly: Love, Politics, and Parkinson's Disease (Ballantine Reader's Circle), by Morton Kondracke
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Morton Kondracke never intended to wed Millicent Martinez, but the fiery daughter of a radical labor organizer eventually captured his heart. They married, raised two daughters, and loved and fought passionately for twenty years. Then, in 1987, Milly noticed a glitch in her handwriting, a small tremor that would lead to the shattering diagnosis of Parkinson’s disease. Saving Milly is Kondracke’s powerfully moving chronicle of his vital and volatile marriage, one that has endured and deepened in the face of tragedy; it also follows his own transformation from careerist to caregiver and activist, a man who will “fight all the way, without pause or rest, to ‘save’ his beloved Milly.” *
(* Linda Bowles, The Washington Times)
- Sales Rank: #909858 in Books
- Published on: 2002-05
- Released on: 2002-05-28
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.28" h x .58" w x 5.50" l, .51 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 229 pages
Amazon.com Review
Morton Kondracke chronicles his wife's 13-year battle against Parkinson's disease with the same attention to nitty-gritty details and shrewd understanding of how power works that distinguish his political commentary. Kondracke doesn't airbrush how horrible it is to have Parkinson's (the squeamish should avoid the passages about Milly Kondracke's two rounds of deep-brain surgery), or how difficult it is to live with someone who does (the mere recitation of his caretaking activities will exhaust most readers). He provides unvarnished accounts of the battles among members of the Parkinson's Action Network and other disease activists competing for limited federal research funds, until they got real and decided to fight to double the National Institutes of Health's budget so everyone would get more money. And he refuses to offer a feel-good ending charged with false hope; the book's closing pages include a grim account of the Kondrackes' discussions about what to do if she becomes unable to swallow. (They settled on refusing the feeding tube and allowing her to starve to death, which "is not painful if the patient doesn't take liquids.") Offsetting this bleak material is a vibrant, loving, and equally candid portrait of the indomitable Millicent Martinez Kondracke, who began up-ending the admittedly self-absorbed, drivingly ambitious Kondracke's life from the moment they met in 1966. He'd planned to marry an Ivy-educated heiress who could further his career; instead he was swept away by a Mexican Jewish American firebrand who challenged authority on everything from a botched car repair to the school system's poor handling of their daughter's dyslexia. Seeing how powerful she once was, we share her anguish as she descends into disability--and her husband's hope that, despite all the current scientific projections, research will provide a breakthrough in time to save Milly. --Wendy Smith
From Publishers Weekly
The author, formerly a panelist on The McLaughlin Group and currently a columnist for Fox News, has written a deeply personal and bracingly honest account of how he and his wife, Milly, have coped with her diagnosis of Parkinson's disease. The Kondrackes met and were wed in the mid-1960s after Morton overcame his desire to marry up (Milly was a probation officer from a poor Mexican-American background). They appear to have had a stormy though loving marriage, raising two daughters. An extremely strong and powerful woman, Milly fought hard to obtain a good education for dyslexic daughter Andrea and forced her husband into treatment for alcoholism. Milly's passionate enjoyment of life made it very difficult for her, at the age of 47, to accept a doctor's opinion in 1988 that the tremors she was experiencing were the beginnings of Parkinson's disease. The Kondrackes finally came to terms with Milly's condition and began searching for a treatment. Milly underwent several operations and has had various drug therapies, but her condition continues to worsen. She is now dependent on others for physical care and can barely communicate. Kondracke provides a harrowing overview of how organizations for other diseases such as AIDS or breast cancer compete with Parkinson's advocates for badly needed research dollars. He describes his involvement with Michael J. Fox (diagnosed with Parkinson's) and Fox's political lobbying for funds. Drawing on his spiritual faith, Kondracke does his best for Milly, who is deeply depressed about her illness. He agonizes about when she will have to be fed through a tube and may no longer want to live. Photos. (June 12)Forecast: To promote his book to an audience beyond his primary D.C.-based constituency and to increase readers' awareness of Parkinson's disease, Kondracke is appearing on C-Span's Book Notes with Brian Lamb and the Today Show during the second week in June, which will help sales.
Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.
From Library Journal
Columnist, commentator, and current cohost of Fox TV's Beltway Boys, Kondracke has written a highly personal book, a valentine to his wife of nearly 34 years, Milly. In 1987, this fiercely independent woman began noticing small changes in her handwriting and grip. It marked the beginning of the couple's descent into years of bafflement, testing, hope, and denial, coming to a final if begrudging acceptance of the diagnosis of an unusual variant of Parkinson's disease. Their story is tender, loving, and funny every couple's tale, yet uniquely their own. As Milly slowly loses her abilities, her husband works through his own frustrations and insecurities to take on the role not only of caretaker but of activist in the highly political world of research funding. With Michael J. Fox's announcement of his own bout with Parkinson's, the disease has found a place in the media spotlight, a position that the Kondrackes hope will lead to better treatments and, eventually, a cure. Whether or not it comes in time for Milly, her husband has seen to it that her courage and wit will be long remembered. Recommended for health and inspirational collections. Anne C. Tomlin, Auburn Memorial Hosp. Lib., NY
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Most helpful customer reviews
42 of 42 people found the following review helpful.
Outstanding and touching memoir, confession, and love story.
By smarmer
I was swept away by this book and read it in one sitting. For readers familiar with Morton Kondracke through his appearances on television or through his writings, this is a suprisingly warm and touching account. It is greatly to his credit that its warmth and honesty shine so clearly.
Kondracke is open, honest, and extremely candid in his assessment of his marriage and himself. Here is a man who clearly gained insight from his own therapy experiences and from the loving and constant pressure from his wife to force him to grow. For an example of how one's narcissism can gradually be overcome, this book is worth reading. But it is so much more.
One gets a vivid picture of the intimate workings of a marriage, the strengths and weaknesses of their child rearing, and the battle between career and family. One also comes away with great affection for both Morton and Milly and their deep love and devotion for each other.
But there is still more. The description of the insidious progression of Parkinson's disease, the phases of wishful thinking, despairing realization, heroic fighting, valiant perseverence, and ultimately honest recognition of where things will lead, constitute an inspiring if also discouraging saga. The direct discussion of the alternatives facing Milly and Morton as they peer into the dark future are bracing -- chilling in their implications and invigorating in their honesty and bluntness.
There is still more. The story of the politics of medical research, the duplicity of politicians, the disproportionate allocation of research resources, and even the difficulties and disagreements of the "good guys," such as the conflicts between the Fox foundation and the PAN, are wrenching for the reader. "Why can't potentially curable diseases get the resources they need?" the reader asks in frustration. It seems that only those personally touched by tragedy rise to the occasion, as is the case with politicians who are as different as Tom Harkin and Connie Mack.
Yet there is still more to this book. There is the story of love and friendship. There are friends who stand by in generous support at the times of greatest trial and others who fade away. Always there is the deep love between Morton and Milly.
Finally there is God and philosophy. I found Kondracke's "Christian Stoicism" to be very much in accord with my own views. One does the best with the hand one is dealt, asking God to help keep us strong during the ordeal. Whenever Kondracke asks God what he should be doing, God answers, "Take care of Milly." We don't often get miraculous divine intervention to take away our trials. But we can ask for and receive strength from God to deal with them in a loving and even heroic way.
Milly Kondracke is the hero of the book, but so is Mort Kondracke. So too are their friends and everyone working for the cure of Parkinson's and other degenerative diseases. The book itself is sometimes harsh, sometimes sad, sometimes infuriating, but always uplifting and inspirational.
Very highly recommended.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Saving Milly
By JoannieO
This book brought back a lot of buried memories of what my poor father went through with this horrid disease. It also shows what the caregiver has to deal with and opens your eyes to what true love really is. Mort provides his wife with what no doctor can, the security and constant reasurance that he'll always be there for her and that he truly loves her. There may be nothing in the medical world at this present time that can help her, but at least she has the love of a man that stands by her when she truly needs him the most. This is a wonderfully sad love story that everyone should read. For those that have never had to deal with a loved one with a terminal disease, this book may seem a fantasy, but for those that have, it is reality. Everyone should have a relationship like the one that Mort and Milly have, but no one should ever have to deal with the outcome that they will faced with. Good luck to them both.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Three Stars
By Sandra Barbano
Sorry don't remember reading it.
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